Archive for the ‘looney’ Category

Some nights are creepier than others

Sunday, July 11th, 2010

Like many lampworkers, I find myself working under cover of darkness lately because of the weather. It’s just cooler overall, plus I have the added benefit of going out after the kids are in bed, so there’s no worry of interruptions.

Also, like many, I listen to my ipod while I’m working. So I’m fairly well isolated out in my little shop. Tonight, I left the light in the backyard off so it wouldn’t attract so many bugs to the back door; it’ll turn on when I approach the porch. Unfortunately this means a fairly dark walk to the house, where even with a flashlight it’s dark, and I run the risk of looking like a prowler.

In my own little world, I wandered back from the shop tonight with my flashlight, scanning here and there for skunks and what not. Nothing.

I went inside and closed the place down. It was quiet except for the ceiling fans which I turned off. I found the dining room light on which I thought I had switched off, but it’s possible I didn’t.

I turned off the lights and wandered upstairs and into the bedroom, I could hear the TV on in my room from the stairs. My wife was asleep, but she had turned on an extra fan so she had also turned up the TV. Off went the set, leaving only the slightly at odds sound of two fans buzzing at slightly different pitches, and then I heard a bump. Or did I?

Being the daddy, it’s my job to investigate and to make sure that everything’s ok in the kid’s room, so I go out into the hallway and my youngest comes silently, but determinedly tromping out of his room and into the light of the night light beaming from the bathroom into the hallway, thumb firmly planted in his mouth. He makes a beeline to me, arms opening wide, so I scoop him close, hug him tight and he falls back to sleep on my shoulder.

Carefully tucked into bed, a kiss upon his head, daddy has once again slain whatever demon lurked in the darkness and all was right in his world.

Around here, sometimes we really do have bumps in the night.

Whoop some glass!

Friday, July 2nd, 2010

A while back I left some variant of the above on my facebook status as I went out to my shop.   Some of my assorted cadre of friends thought it would make a lovely shirt.  Being a money grubbing people pleaser, I aim to please.

I’ve put up this design on my CafePress shop for anyone interested.  The base prices on their apparel’s a little on the spendy side, and I assure you, I’ve only added 5.00 per item for me.  But, if you’re so inclined, have a look.

Most of the money will likely go into an angry looking piggy bank to help hold onto some legal funds for me personally should I need it in this Texas debacle.

I almost look badass, eh?

Also, money from the sale of my Drawer Pull tutorial through the month of July is going directly to the AGLF.  If you’re interested, feel free to have a look here.

Welcome to the water park

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

My oldest wound up missing out on a recent trip to Six Flags and it’s water park.  Being the (sometimes irritatingly) smart tyke that he is, he realized if he puts the hose up on his backyard slide, it gets wet and he goes faster.

Well last night he and his little brother had a grand old time on their “water slide”.  It was nice,  but not exactly environmentally friendly as all that water just goes elsewhere.   So since I don’t want to drain the well just for their amusement, I came up with something else.

They have a wading pool, I have a utility pump, voila.   Our very own little water slide.

I think they’ll like it.

Super high tech, I know.

The Aqueous Dispersion Device

Our Aquatic Propulsion Unit

Careful ultramodern infrastructure was key to the project's success

Is there such a thing as good timing?

Monday, May 24th, 2010

This past weekend was pretty wonderful; a shop owner likes my glass and will be carrying it on a consignment basis, my oldest actually participated and behaved at soccer practice, my youngest moved up to “the big boy bed” and didn’t even fall out, and finally I got a nice sized order for drawer pulls.

Then Monday happened.

Oh sure, it started off well enough.  While I was waiting for programs to open, tests to run and the like, I was taking care of other stuff in the down time.  My cell phone was tethered to the main computer to sync and charge a bit when it rang, it was my business insurance agent.   That’s where the good parts end.   The cable knocked over my coffee onto the work laptop, spilling on the keyboard.

This lead to a day of fighting with the machine, it’s typing random letters, overheating, some keys don’t work, etc.  Even using an external keyboard wasn’t much better since it would randomly decide to take over and start pounding out a thousand ‘n’s, faster than I could erase them.

Something came up late in the day that disrupted plans, and then I didn’t even have to really attend this event, so it was a disruption for nothing.

Tomorrow, after work, I was planning on a torch session.   My customer’s not in a hurry, but I want to get this order done before things get too hot out in the shop, but now I have to go to the office, so that’s out.

It’s always bad timing.

An open letter to Gary Pierce, Commissioner for the Arizona Corporation Commission

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010

I decided to forgo receipt of a generic canned response, so here’s an open letter to Gary Pierce, Commissioner for the Arizona Corporation Commission. -T

Dear Gary,

After reading this article, I was curious, isn’t threatening to disrupt interstate power transmission or disrupt interstate commerce a federal crime?  It’s got to be a misdemeanor if nothing else.  Further, if your actions lead to power disruptions in a hospital that lead to a person’s death, you could conceivably be named in a negligent homicide case.

Just curious.

Tom

A new, and almost clever scam

Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010

I got this in my Yahoo! mail today.   I recognized how ridiculous it sounded and how poorly executed it was, but if someone you love that may not have their wits about them uses this mail service, give them a gentle tip off.

The brilliance of this one is that it goes to?  A Yahoo.com address.  So maybe it is from corporate, right?   No. I have a yahoo.com address I use as a spam trap, but I certainly don’t work there.

Nice try!

Nice try!

Must..not..press..send..arrgh!!

Friday, March 5th, 2010

I got my monthly email from GMAC today.  You remember them, the folks who deleted my online account to say thanks for not using it to pester them.   Well the monthly mailing tells me that I can go to their site, click the My Account link (starting to see a problem here?…) and go check my statement.   It’s using most of my will power right now not to send them this:

Riddle me this, Bankerman,
I recently received notice that you’ve destroyed my online account based on some silly policy about not visiting the site for 12 months.  I guess the 12 bytes of storage my username and password took up was bankrupting GMAC:M.
If that’s the case, how is it I’m still receiving notifications to check my statement at my (now non-existent) online account?
If I were to indeed follow the links below I suspect that I would find that “My Account” is no more causing me to create yet another storage nightmare for GMAC’s IT team.  Haven’t they worked hard enough?!?!?
Tom

No wonder they needed help

Saturday, February 20th, 2010

Here’s the email I received from GMAC today along with my response.

—– Original Message —-
From: GMAC Mortgage Online Services <Customer_Service@gmacm.com>
To: xxxxxxx@yahoo.com
Sent: Sat, February 20, 2010 2:57:58 AM
Subject: GMAC Mortgage Registration Expiration

Dear Valued GMAC Mortgage Customer,

It’s been over 12 months since your last visit to the GMAC Mortgage Web Site and your registration has expired. Because we are extremely cautious of all security issues that could affect our customers, we will lock out a specific User Name after inactivity of 360 days. This is due to the possibility of a customer having left their ISP server for another and their email address being re-used by their previous Internet provider.

Depending on your Internet Service Provider, you may not be able to receive active links or view and/or click on any of the links provided. Please go to our Web site and log into gmacmortgage.com. If you are able to view the link, but may not be able to click on it, you can cut and paste the link into the ‘address’ or ‘location’ field of your browser and press ‘enter’ or ‘go’.

*The privacy and security of our customer’s personal information is an issue GMAC Mortgage takes very seriously. For that reason, we have removed any indication of your name or other personal data from this message.

GMAC Mortgage
1-800-766-4622
HTTP://WWW.GMACMORTGAGE.COM

The information contained in this communication is confidential and privileged proprietary information intended only for the personal and confidential use of the individual or entity to whom it is addressed. If you are not the addressee indicated in this message (or an agent responsible for delivery of the message to such person), you are hereby notified that you have received this communication in error and that any review, dissemination, copying or unauthorized use of this message is strictly prohibited. In such case, you should destroy this message and kindly notify the sender by email.

Contact Us:
https://www.gmacmortgage.com/Utilities/Contact_Us/ContactUs.html

Please advise immediately if you or your employer do not consent to Internet email for messages of this kind. Opinions, conclusions and other information in this message that do not relate to the official business of the Company shall be understood as neither given nor endorsed by it. It is the Company’s policy that emails are intended for and should be used for business purposes only.

And my response:

That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of.  I haven’t called GMAC in a while either, maybe my account and the mortgage should expire too?
Who’s the self-important idiot that wrote this expiration policy?  I’d like to yell at them in person.
Tom

Dear Vikram Pandit, CEO of Citigroup

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

I recently received your mailing letting me know the interest rate on my AT&T Universal Card will be increasing as a way of showing me that you appreciate me as a customer.

This rate is going despite actually being a good customer in your eyes; carrying a balance, paying on time, etc.

So to say thank you, I would like to cordially invite you over over a home cooked meal and then to show you my appreciation for you being such a good credit card company (which you represent), I’d like to pee on your leg.

Have your people call mine and we’ll set it up.

Sincerely,

Tom Kies
Appreciated and valued customer.

Dear Phishermen

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

If you’re going to take the time to rip off Bank of America’s graphics and email template, and even figure out how to place a Registration mark in an odd place, at least have the good sense to buy a cheap domain that *might* fool someone into clicking your log in link.

Here’s one example from a message in my spam trap:

http://chavdaphotographers.com/gallery/online.bankofamerica.com/

online.bankofamerica.com/ccss-rva.bankofamerica.com/ccss/102%26target=
acctOverview%26acid=1%26os/SSOEntrypageid=102%26target=
acctOverview%26acid=/onlineid-sessionload/signon.do/

Three free bits of advice, take them for what you will:

  1. Don’t ever click a log-in link from an email.  Go to the site in question and log in correctly.
  2. In many cases, if you move your mouse over a link you can see the destination in the browser’s status bar.  At best it should direct you to the actual site you think it’s heading towards.   Just be wary of bankoffamerica.com or bankofameirca.com   Two misspellings that look so similar to the real thing you might be fooled.
  3. Be wary of bit.ly and other types of shortened links in email.  You can’t see the destination of where they’ll take you, it’s best just not to click on them.