Like most parents (right??) we have folders on our kids.   They hold the generic pieces of your kid’s identity like the birth records, shot records, etc.  Nothing particularly exciting.

The other day our youngest figured out we have folders on them and got all mopey, “I want to see what’s in my file!”

Silly minions.

My elder minion’s been taking ski lessons.   We’re realizing he’s definitely the sports kid of our two, but we’re finding he may not be a team sports kind of kid.   Don’t get me wrong, he’s got t-ball in the spring, so we’ll see if that goes better than soccer did, but he has a new passion, skiing.

I’m totally behind this one because I love to ski, but don’t get out much.   It’ll be nice to have someone to go with, and guess what?  He’s pretty good at it.

He’s been taking ski lessons for about 7 weeks now and he’s gotten to a point where he can ride surface lifts and the chair lift, and make it down the hill without falling.

Since he likes it, and I’d like nothing more than to share this with him, we wound up getting equipment for he and I.   Once you own the kit, the lift tickets are comparatively cheap.   Particularly on a night like this where you can get 2 for 1 tickets after 6 at the local ski bump.   Sweet!

Tonight was the first night taking my new equipment out to use (I got used stuff) and…..I found that one of my boots doesn’t fit.   I tried and struggled with this thing for 15 minutes before I finally admitted de-feet (HA!).  Not wanting to let the minion down on our daddy/son time, I wound up renting boots.  Great, right?

Not so much, the rental boots didn’t fit the bindings on my skis.  To my son’s credit, he was very calm and understanding, and to my credit, I didn’t scream out any of the obscenities going through my head.

So I asked the rental tech what we could do, he said let’s see the bindings.  Oop, they’re Salomon bindings and they aren’t certified to work on them.

Crap.

Luckily someone nearby was kind enough to unofficially tell me how to adjust the distance on the bindings and where to find a screwdriver.   Yes, I know this comes with the risk of negating the release mechanism of the binding, but I’m assuming that risk, plus we were on beginner to low end intermediate slopes.  Also, I’m intending to get the boot situation remedied and the binding reset.

Finally, we managed to hit the slopes, and I have to say, my minion’s FAST.   The kid fell twice, and I managed to only fall once.  The kid’s a little comedian too.   We were going up the chair lift and every time we got on he’d say, “Now we close the bar…”  Finally I asked him if his instructor told him that every time, and the kid dead pans, “No, I’m trying to teach you to be a professional skier like I am.”    You just have to laugh.

We managed to ski for a little over an hour.   Usually when I start to fall it’s because I’m getting tired, and the run after my tumble I almost went down again, so I cut us off.  I really wanted dinner at that point anyway.

Tomorrow, I get to go back to the ski shop and see if I can exchange my boots and get my bindings reset.  Yay.

Oh, as a by the way, I’m starting to make fruit fly traps, if you’re interested in such a wonderful item (they work very very well), get in touch!

Turning to the fire, she used the tongs and deftly chose two glowing embers, and placed them just above the button forming glowing red eyes, yet somehow they did not melt the ice.

Finally she turned once more to her ragged, worn bag, and from it she drew a silk hat smeared with soot from the fireplace; a ring of blood of some unknown origin circled the brim.

With shadows from the fire flitting across her wild face, she placed the vexed chapeau upon what might be best called the “head” of the figure-like pile of compacted snow before her.

Suddenly, as if possessed by the devil himself, he back to dance around the room.

The old woman reared back and let out an unearthly cackle.  As the sound still echoed off the walls she began to speak in tongues.   Nearly inaudible at first, but soon the room filled with her incomprehensible chanting.

“Bumpity bump bump.”

She had started slowly, but her energy seemed to grow with each iteration of the mysterious phrase.

“bumpitybumpbumpbumpitybumpbumpbumptitybumpbump…” she screamed, over and over and over.    Soon a curse fell over the children in the room, and they started to laugh uncontrollably, almost gleeful in it’s sound, but undeniable in it’s eerie nature.

Then the old woman stopped, her bony hand pointing to the window, “Look at frosty go.”    There was ice in those words, nothing charming or friendly about it.

In unison the children stopped their laughter and turned their heads to the window, the man of ice and snow was now running down the lane.    Where he was going I know not.   But soon after, he made it to the village, broomstick clutched at his side, and there were blood curdling screams heard up and down the valley as the ice man’s carnage, and the old women’s vengeful wishes, were meted out.

No, I’m just musing on my youngest minion.    We’re here having lunch and watching Star Trek: The Next Generation (don’t judge me!) and the little one’s over there trying to ask a question about Data.

“Um..umm..umm…umm.umm..” etc., while his brother is talking over him.    I had to laugh because it reminded me of the old Robert’s Rules, and made me think he was trying to raise a point.    Eventually he got out his question about Data’s eyes, but I was sorely tempted to look at him and say, “The chair recognizes the gentleman in the green froggie raincoat”.

Wacky kids.

The other day he said something to me that all glass addicts like to hear from their offspring, “Daddy, I’d like to try to make some beads.”

I’m all veclempt.

I’ve let him try his hand at the torch before, and the last time he managed to get a small burn on his shoulder.  So I’m proud of him for wanting to try it again.   I don’t push him about it, it’s my thing, not his.    But if he wants to try it, he’s mature enough to give it a go.

The coolest part….we showed him one of the Beads of Courage videos and once he’s made some “cow colored beads, with polka dots for him and [his brother]“, he wants to make some beads to send off to BOC.

He’s a pain in my butt some days, but the kid’s got a good heart.   We must be doing something right.

Incidentally, if you’ve never heard of Beads of Courage, give them a look.  If you can contribute to their cause, please do!

The trip was certainly not without it’s obstacles though.

For one thing, the other day I broke my toe playing with our youngest, so I wasn’t really looking forward to stumping around all day on that.

To add to the fun, on the way out there, about 20 minutes from the park actually, we wound up with car trouble.    We stopped for a bathroom break for the little ones and the car didn’t want to start; not cool.    We ditched AAA long ago, but along with our car’s warranty service is roadside assistance.   Of course one number was missing from the sticker in the window.

We eventually got in touch with them and a tow truck was on the way.  I’d like to give a shout out to the nice gentleman who was travelling with his family and offered to have a look for us.   It’s rare these days, and I truly did appreciate it.   If the state police themselves hadn’t had to dispatch the truck for us, I would have taken him up on the offer.

Eventually the truck showed up (fairly quickly actually), and a simple jump was enough to get us on our way.    We’ll be in the market for a new battery soon.

Happily, we made it to the park and in the nick of time to pick up my line skipping Flash Pass (pre-paid mind you) before the cut off time of nooon.

We’d been watching the weather since there were scattered storms in the forecast.   Luckily the rain held off for most of the day and the kids had a blast.   The oldest got to go on half a dozen or so larger rides and spent time on the smaller ones with his brother as well.

Finally, when it started sprinkling, they started shutting down all the rides the Flash Pass is useful for, so we started heading out of the park.    We go out just in the nick of time, because as we started down the road the skies opened up.

Overall, it was a lovely, but very long day.

6:00 am: The youngest minion is crying.  I ignore it.  If it’s really important he knows where I am, right?

6:15: G gets up to use the bathroom, 3.3 cries again, something about his brother smashing his head into a wall yesterday (false), winds up in bed with us where he’s now rubbing his foot on my hip.   I have no idea why.

6:25: 3.3 goes back to his room and starts playing with his brother (loud little buggers)

I manage to get back to sleep for a little bit.

7:00ish: “Daddy!”
*sigh*  What buddy?
J pooped on his potty!
Mind you, he’s been doing fairly well using the actual toilet.  So now there’s a steaming turd in their bedroom.
Ok, be right there.

Dealt with that, went back to bed and laid there until the alarm went off while the kids made noise.

So we get up, go downstairs to have breakfast, everything’s fine for a while.  3.3 clears his breakfast bowl then goes running to the bathroom, I hear the toilet lid go up and….

“I peed in my underwear.”
Why didn’t you pee in the toilet?
“Because”
Ok, no netflix for a week.  Because.

For those of you who think I’m being overly harsh for one little accident, no, it’s not one isolated incident and there was a LOT of pee in there on the floor.

I hate Mondays so very very much.

Cool!

The only downside, is that the text for the sale really didn’t imply what should have been obvious, they don’t just sit you down in the pilot’s seat and hand you the keys.   Instead there’s a lot of reading involved to prep, a ground school class, AND you effectively had to make two trips: one for ground school, then one for the actual lesson.   Oddly, it was this last part that was the deal killer for me.    I’ve done about 80% of the reading.   Frankly whirling blades of death, flying off the ground, dodging other aircraft and conversing with federal air traffic control employees in code?  I’m ok doing the legwork to avoid dying.   But the airport is about an hour from our house, so going twice is a problem.    Luckily, they had an option to convert it to a simple, abbreviated helicopter tour instead, which I availed myself of.

Like I said though, the airport’s an hour from our house.   So logistically it’s a big trip on a weekend because you need to deal with the kids, make sure your significant other isn’t unduly burdened with the minion minding duties, etc.    Well, a while back there was another Groupon for a family season pass to both the Stone Zoo and the Franklin Park Zoo here in Mass.   The Stone Zoo just happens to be about 15-20 minutes from the airport.   Excellent, family road trip!

So off we go, stopping at Fresh City in Burlington for lunch.   Minion 3.01 managed to trip on the brick walkway outside the restaurant, with his hands in his pockets, and landed face first on the walkway.  He’s ok, a bit scraped, bloodied, and banged up, but he’ll live.    I’ll just say now, he was in pain the rest of the day, and moody as all get out.   Not fun.

Quickly?  I wouldn’t recommend Fresh City if you have kids.  The food’s good enough.  The prices are a little high, but let’s face it, McDonald’s is probably artificially lower than it should be, so my gripe isn’t even with the money.    No, the problem lies with two things: ordering and trays.

They have a kids menu, which is always welcome, but when you order they have three lines, basically representing categories of their menu.  If you’re ordering one thing, great!  If you have a kid you’re ordering with, and the kid wants something from another category, do you really want to wait in a second line?   Hey-ell no.    So I got a little lip from the kid behind the sneeze guard, but to his credit, he sent my kid’s rice bowl order to the right station for us.

So we get the food and it comes on these round plastic bowl tray things.  Again, fine if you’re alone, but if you’re hauling and collecting pieces of a meal for two?  You’ll need a regular tray.  The regular trays, are just barely big enough to fit two of these bowl trays on.  They are, however, not really big enough to fit two bowl trays AND two fountain drink cups on safely.    Anyway, like I said, food was ok.  It was about $15 bucks for me and 5.6.   My wife bought for her and 3.01.

We’ve had lunch, 3.01 is cranky, moaning and bleeding, but we’ve gotten him some pain killers from the pharmacy, the temperatures are dropping and it’s about 1 o’clock.   My flight’s at 4.    Given I was now chilled (long story…short form is I did something nice to keep the elder minion warm that was to my detriment) I was more inclined to go to the mall.   The kids reallllllllllllly wanted to go to the zoo though.  Since I was working the pedals today, I turned us northward off to the zoo.

Luckily we had coats and warmed a bit, so the zoo was fairly nice.    See?  Flamingos:

It's like a yard from plastic hell

The kids had a pretty good time, and didn’t want to leave:

I'm not sure, but I think they're trying to hotwire a coin operated ride

We all had our favorites, but mine were the emperor tamerins, I find their little mustaches amusing.   There was a sad bit to the visit; the zoo has a gibbon they got from another zoo, and it only has one arm.   From what the sign said, something was thrown to him by a visitor at another zoo and it did sufficient damage that most of the arm had to be amputated.  The upside is he’s still wonderfully mobile and swings around the cage just fine.

Finally, on to the flight!   I’m impressed you’ve stuck it out this long, bravo!

We made far better time than I expected and got to the airport about ten after 3.    Hanscom airfield is a typical local airport, mostly private, small planes and jets.    I was amused to see a full fledged TSA checkpoint and post-screening sterile area, though the checkpoint was closed.   I’m really kind of curious under what conditions it’s opened.  Maybe it’s a Monday through Friday thing when there are some Florida bound flights out or something.

Anyway…the flight was conducted through the East Coast Aero Club, from what I met, a fairly nice bunch of people.   I was expecting to have to fill out an indemnity waiver or something, but nope, just “Well you’re in the right place, come back this way closer to 4.”   From some of the text on their site, I get the impression they were a bit annoyed with the Groupon experience as a vendor as it didn’t accurately represent the amount of work that the buyers were going to have to do to fly (assuming they were to take it as a lesson), an they probably were catching hell for it from a lot of the 2100+ people that purchased one.  If so, I can’t say I blame them.  Also, in all likelihood, the idea was to sell low cost first lessons, get folks hooked and hopefully they’d come back for higher priced subsequent lessons.   If so, I’m guessing it didn’t go as planned.

Finally, 4 rolled around and I met our pilot, Jeff, and my two travelling companions.   I think their names were Martin and Elizabeth.  Before we headed out to the tarmac, the minions both gave me a giant hug, and I found out later that the older one was genuinely worried about me falling out of the helicopter.   Sweet kid, huh?  I had given my keys to my wife on the off chance I became a charred corpse so that she could drive home, but I wasn’t exactly worried; helicopters can autorotate, in some ways making them safer than airplanes in the event of a problem, and I’ve never been afraid of flying.  No, at this point my biggest concern was whether I’d get to sit up front or if the other couple was going try get into a schmoopie war trying to be nice and letting the other up sit up front.    Luckily they stuck together in the back seat.

I'm in the front passenger seat

According to the ECAC web site, my scenic Groupon conversion was going to be a trip over nearby Walden pond and then back.  Still a good deal for the $80 my wife paid if you ask me.   I have to say, I was impressed.   We went nearly all the way to Boston and back.

Hey, I know that town!

Kinda pretty up here

The John Hancock tower

At the very least, we were into Cambridge in amazing time.

Harvard University

MIT

I didn’t go to either, but for some reason I’ve always thought MIT was cooler.  I think it’s the heavy tech leanings at MIT whereas when I think of Harvard, I think lawyers and doctors.

Heading back:

If I remember correctly, that's Rte. 2

To the middle left of this next picture is a company called Lincoln Labs.    I’m not entirely sure what they do there, and I actually didn’t intend to get them in the photo, but I think I want to work there.  It’s a cool looking defense contractor looking place with several radar domes on the roof.  How could they NOT be doing something cool there?

Heading back to the airport

All in all it was a wonderful flight and tour, and I’d whole heartedly recommend these folks if you were looking to book such a flight.

An hour or so later, we were all quite relieved to be home.
************************************************

I’d like to add, as a side note, 3.01′s been potty training for about a week or so now.    He woke up dry this morning, and was in a pull-up for most of the day, only wetting it once, which we suspect may have happened during his nap in the car.   Though, given he did a face plant on bricks, we can certainly overlook one problem.   The rest of the day he did his business where appropriate, an even let us know when he needed a restroom at the zoo.   Go J!

He dropped to the floor with hands near his eyes, and let two of the eyes go rolling across the floor, exclaiming, “Oh no! My eyes fell out!!!”

That’s my boy!

A few minutes later…

*tap tap*
“Dad?”
“Yeah, buddy?”
“It clogged.”
Crap.
“Ok, be there in a minute.”

Toilet dealt with, little one changed, I tell them to play quietly while I go lay down for a few more minutes.

*tap tap*
“Dad?”
*sigh*
“Yeah, buddy?”
“Can I go downstairs and get my ball?”

Why don’t they ever wake up their mother?

Have a great day!