I decided to amble out to my shed to see if my ornaments were cool enough to pull from the kiln.
On the way, I realized my wife’s clothes were still on the line, so I figured I’d be nice and take them down. While I’m standing there I notice a giant wood spider behind the clothespin bag. I hate spiders, so I try to smack it, it scurries down slightly. I smack it again, it falls (hopefully dead) into the pin bag, but I knock the thermometer off the pole in the process.
I look up where the thermometer was, and there’s a paper wasp nest under construction with very awake wasps crawling over it. Awww crap.
I back away, taking the laundry basket with me and go around the front of the house to go in and get the bee spray. Luckily I have my keys with me since I had already locked the door.
Back outside, I go to pull the line out some so I don’t coat my wife’s clothes with poison, and I realize there’s a giant web on the piece of line with a half dollar sized spider sitting dead center.
I go to get the fireplace poker from the fireplace and IT’S coated in webs. WTF?!!?!?
I looked around, found a rake, moved the web, moved the line, soaked the bees, took down the rest of the clothes, checked my stuff (too hot…dammit), and went back in.
What a horrid trip!